Why can’t we “just make it go faster”? First we need to work out “Faster for whom?” and “Why?”…and “What even is faster?” Holly Cummins takes you through Java optimization principles before bouncing through the pitfalls. Join in to discover why the exact same techniques that make Quarkus rocket fast used to be a terrible idea, why fast benchmarks make for slow programs, and why despite all that, optimization really matters. Along the way, you’ll also dive into measuring things, bad advice, garbage collection, and climate change.